Archive for the ‘complaining’ Category

three a.m. is not my favorite time to wake up.

Friday, June 25th, 2010

after a day of fasting, kathryn and i splurged and went to a new gourmet southern restaurant in our neighborhood, seersucker. it was well-suited to the occasion. ha! get it? seersucker? well-suited?? anyone??

we shared a delicious bottle of viognier to accompany our crispy catfish, pickled ramps and fiddlehead ferns, and kathryn’s shrimp and grits was outrageously good.

but i haven’t been drinking recently, what with my tummy all out of whack. a couple glasses of wine forced me up at three this morning with a migraine and nausea. luckily my friday plans involved writing all day, but it’s a lot more pleasant to write when i don’t feel like a vise is crushing my skull.

being at home gives me a chance to post pictures and video from my camera pill adventure yesterday. coming soon to a youtube near you: me swallowing a giant, flashing pill!

i’m… hungry… so… hungry

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

i usually do just fine with these pre-test fasting days. but maybe it’s the heat, or the fact that i worked last night, but i could really use a chewy new york bagel covered in lox or whitefish salad. ok i have to stop talking about food.

i’ll be out and about today with my data belt. and you thought fanny packs looked dumb! i’ll take lots of pictures for everyone.

and, now this. i couldn’t resist.

annoying older brother.

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

my sisters’ eyes will light up at that title. ah, he is finally going to apologize for everything.

not a chance. you know i love you though!

my reflux is back with a vengeance. and when my reflux gets bad, it fills up the eustachian tube in my left ear. it feels like someone (an annoying older brother, perhaps) is blowing in my ear. all the time. i want to kill that older brother.

so i suppose, dearest sisters, that i will apologize for any time i ever blew in your ears to annoy you.

i am going to the doctor tomorrow to discuss the situation. i’m a little concerned – the last time i had this feeling, it was because of internal tumors. now, those tumors left me with an ulcer, so it could just be the ulcer acting up. i’m interested to see what dr. pavlick has to say about it.

it takes a long time.

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

one of the most intriguing items to come out of the young adult cancer summit this past weekend was a discussion about the long term effects of cancer treatment. one doctor said that it takes at least a year to regain your energy and clarity after finishing the brutal regimens of chemotherapy and radiation.

and i would thus far agree. i’ve spent the last two years being cut up and poisoned and although it has stopped for the moment, i’m still feeling constantly fatigued. as you regular readers know, the less i post about myself, the worse i am usually feeling. this past week has been no exception. now don’t get too worried; i’m doing okay. i’m just tired of being tired all the time. i can’t imagine how i used to manage my long nights behind the bar – when 10 pm rolls around these days, i’m ready to be home.

even when it’s fleet week.

fleet week

a better picture of pain.

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

when doctors ask to tell you how much it hurts, they expect an answer between one and ten.

[Photo+18.jpg]

the folks at hyperbole and a half (a blog of, as they claim – and i am inclined to believe them – “indescribable awesomeness”) interpret this scale thusly:

0: Haha!  I’m not wearing any pants!

2: Awesome!  Someone just offered me a free hot dog!

4: Huh.  I never knew that about giraffes.

6: I’m sorry about your cat, but can we talk about something else now?  I’m bored. 

8: The ice cream I bought barely has any cookie dough chunks in it.  This is not what I expected and I am disappointed.

10: You hurt my feelings and now I’m crying!

the need for a new scale is more than evident; so, from the same source, comes a far more accurate pain interpretation scale.

0: Hi.  I am not experiencing any pain at all.  I don’t know why I’m even here.

1: I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing pain or itching or maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth.

2: I probably just need a Band Aid.

3: This is distressing.  I don’t want this to be happening to me at all.

4: My pain is not fucking around.

5: Why is this happening to me??

6: Ow.  Okay, my pain is super legit now.

7: I see Jesus coming for me and I’m scared.

8: I am experiencing a disturbing amount of pain.  I might actually be dying.  Please help.

9: I am almost definitely dying.

10: I am actively being mauled by a bear.

11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment.

Too Serious For Numbers: You probably have ebola.  It appears that you may also be suffering from Stigmata and/or pinkeye.

i’m trying to figure out which one i am right now… but i don’t see one with a shoulder monster. i suppose i would go with about a 6… my pain is indeed super legit right now. thanks hyperbole and a half for helping me rethink my pain!

no pictures?

Monday, March 29th, 2010

people i am a little disappointed in you… as the post below makes clear, i would like to see at least a few artistic interpretations of my wound… i’ll give y’all a few more days. no need for fancy photoshopping – good ol’ ms paint will do just fine.

and speaking of pictures, my housemate and i went to his family’s lovely connecticut property and cooked up a real batch of freshly tapped maple syrup yesterday. pictures presently processing.

oh, and on the medical front: after complaining about the level of pain emanating from my shoulder, my nurse practitioner called me in for a look-see on friday. it’s not infected, as was her concern, but it ain’t pretty. they say i should expect at least two or three weeks of it getting WORSE before it starts to heal. ugh. i go back on wednesday – we’re keeping a close eye on the shoulder monster.

new yorker cartoon contest

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

ohhhh… i remember this pain. it’s been a long time since back pain took over my life. i am completely disabled today and it is no fun. i love the new dining room set (which is, i’m told, mahogany, and not golden oak) but i wish i had been more careful in my exertion. luckily my doctors have given me some good painkillers to use until the pain fades, which it usually does after a few days.

so my friend tempy entered the new yorker cartoon contest and i think she has a legitimate shot at a win. check it:

new yorker cartoon

“We’re not sure if insurance will cover him because of a pre-historic condition.”

oops.

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

the new furniture is absolutely stunning. we will have a lifetime to enjoy the hand-carved golden oak table, chairs and sideboard, and come thanksgiving (which we are hoping to host this year), we will have a table that seats 14 easily. amazing. thanks to you, dear reader and old friend, for changing our lives for the better. a million thanks to my friends in the boston and new york loading crews. i owe you all big time!

the only problem is that i have completely and utterly destroyed my back. i fell off of a balcony back in 2003 and hurt my back so badly that i had to quit the job i loved, teaching preschool (my present resume includes the fact that i toilet-trained ten children simultaneously). after the fall of man (me), i became all too familiar with a life of back pain.

and now my back is out again, for the first time in a decade, and each step is agonizing. i have ballroom lessons tonight which are pretty much completely out of the question. i really thought i was lifting properly and watching myself, but i guess i pushed a little too hard. i’m hoping that a day of rest (after radiation and a couple appointments of course) will loosen things up a little. but if it doesn’t stretch out quickly, i may need to call in some favors for a meal or two this week before we head to california on friday.

thank you again to all involved in getting this incredible dining set into our now even-more-beautiful brownstone!! i’ll get some pictures at some point to share with you.

snow!

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

i am sitting in my cozy room, watching the large, heavy wet flakes of the nor’easter fall on the still, abandoned construction project across the way. this is a morning where i am glad i am not working, and the fact that i have a ten minute long appointment an hour away is not especially appealing. the physical drain of radiation is starting to catch up with me – at 9 pm i am ready for bed, which means i miss things like your awesome show at mercury lounge. (sorry elijah!) but more than the physical drain, it is the routine of being at the cancer center every day. i’m used to being surrounded by cancer patients all the time, and although the alopecia and weary, worried faces have taken some getting used to, nearly everyone there is ready with a smile. we’re all in this together, after all. the problem is that 34th street is not especially close to my house, and since they never built an uptown transfer between the F and 6 trains, it takes a while to get to my treatments – here’s an explanation from the times, saying a fix is coming soon. oh wait, it’s dated 2005.

speaking of the times, i left a comment on the PLX4032 articles (see below) and over 700 people clicked on groinstrong yesterday! i guess i should leave more comments with links to the site!

nothing new to report

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

all quiet on the eastern front. hope you all enjoyed the long weekend! i am worn down and feeling like i just had back to back surgeries. oh wait! that’s right, i did.

i set up my first meeting with the radiology oncologist and it looks like we’ll start radiation in about two weeks. my doc keeps saying this round won’t be nearly as bad, which i hope is the case.

my arm and shoulder still hurt a lot so my writing time will be pretty minimal these days. check out some of the links below if you’d like some entertainment!