Fever/Dog

Yes, that title is indeed a reference to the song from Almost Famous. Since I’m posting via my phone, you’ll just have to imagine Jason Lee singing a moderately good rock song. It’s also a handy intro to the two subjects of this post.

Fever: My fever is gone, and I appear to have dodged the cellulitis bullet. I’m still feeling weak and exhausted, and I’ve slept on and off through the day. It’s frustration to not be able to lend a hand with the massive project that is emptying out Kathryn’s family home of 36 years. Though there have been tender moments, looking over elementary school report cards and every birthday greeting Kat handmade for her parents (complete with a company name, barcode and discounted sale prices),the job as a whole is so completely overwhelming that it’s hard to imagine how the small crew will even make a dent by the end of the weekend. Still, they press on, through receipts for furniture purchased in the late 70s, through precious memories and the accumulated detritus of decades of family life.

& Dog: this is intriguing. Kathryn’s eldest brother Scott has a beloved German Shepherd named Sophie. She’s incredibly sweet to everyone – except, thus far, me. She has lunged at me a number of times in the past, going so far as to manage to bite me. She’ll sit and stare at me, ears back, tail tucked in a combination of aggression and fear. I’m the only person to ever receive this kind of treatment. Kathryn’s mother Lynn suggested a ways back that she was reacting to my cancer; science has proven that canines are remarkably good at detecting disease. It’s difficult to say, but here’s what’s so intriguing. I’ve been cancer-free for a while now, and this is my first visit with Sophie in about a year.

And guess what? Her behavior towards me has completely changed. She cuddles up to me rather than running away; for the first time, she’s allowed me to rub her belly. Could it be that she was reacting to my disease, that she knew somehow that I was sick? I have a scan coming up next week – if she’s finally treating me as a friend, does that mean I can stop worrying? Not that I’m particularly concerned; nearly every time my cancer has come back, I’ve had a sense of its presence long before it was confirmed via scan. I’m feeling as healthy as I have in a long time – this bout of cellulitis notwithstanding – and I’ve been feeling confident about the upcoming scan.
Sophie’s choice (ha!) to be my friend just reinforces that confidence.

One Response to “Fever/Dog”

  1. trina says:

    this dog theory is fascinating! love!