has it really been so long since i’ve posted here? long-time readers may remember that when i drop off the map for a while, it’s because i’m not doing so well. that’s far from the truth this time. the reality is that i now (as of next week) have five families on my weekly roster. most of them require only a few hours a week, but it’s all adding up, and, as i expected, the regular short shifts extend to full days on a regular basis. as much as i love working with kids, it is absolutely exhausting, and i’ve needed every bit of my down time to recover.
i think every day about what i could post, but honestly, i’m closing in on some semblance of normalcy, and, well, normalcy lacks the intense drama of say, fighting off a terminal illness. do you want to hear about how i was so tired at the end of my eight-hour day with a two-year-old that i melted my brain with a couple episodes of true blood? also i read some comics and checked the news about the impending super bowl (go niners!). oh! and i did my laundry.
what a crazy night, right?
i apologize if any of you were concerned – as i said, i usually avoid posting when i get down on myself, but that’s not the case at all. i don’t have time to feel down, which is a dramatic change from the past few years. on top of my kid supervision, kathryn and i are switching apartments (within our present house, which we hope to never leave!) next week, and i’m moving my studio back home – given my scheduling constraints, i was having trouble getting down to the studio before my afternoon shifts with kids. since the studio is a shared space, i have to set up and break down each time i come to work, which i don’t mind so much but it makes it tough to get any momentum, and if, for instance, it’s a monday and i only work with kids for a couple hours, i have to reset entirely if i return that evening. kathryn and i are going to set up our new space in a way that will allow her room to craft/sew/decoupage and for me to paint. i’m excited for the change, as i have a ton of outstanding commissions that have fallen by the wayside as i tend to my flock.
also, i’m nearly two months into a course of twice-weekly personal training sessions at the expert hands of a former air force captain, an all-around excellent individual and a close friend. just to clarify, those are all the same person – some of you might remember jon from his HOO-AH! toast at our wedding (is that how you spell HOOAH? HUA?). it feels so good to be restoring my broken body to some semblance of its former strength.
given my bad habits of sleeping late and idling around the house (granted, habits that were latent but significantly worsened by cancer treatment, understandably i think), it’s a joy to be up early with kathryn every morning, seeing the light cast across brooklyn from the east (how bizarre!!), discovering the awe-inspiring range of colors and smells that emanate from the gowanus canal (RIP gowanus dolphin!!), getting to enjoy the day rather than waking up late and feeling sorry for/angry with myself.
because i am SO done with treating myself like that.