it is a violation of sorts, no? even if it is by choice. i know many of you out there have suffered through chemotherapy, and that there are nearly endless combinations and uses for the mind-bottling array of cancers. still, they are all poison. and sadly i know from a friend that they can kill faster than the cancer itself.
with the (estimated) continued growth of my tumors, we had to take that risk and dive into treatment. today i started a cycle of carboplatin, which has numerous but not necessarily guaranteed side effects. it could be nasty – i could lose my hair or be fatigued and sick all the time.
or, none of that could happen and i could go on living my life, slightly weaker but still vital.
so far, i don’t feel much, other than a vague sensation from my body that something is not quite right. then again, i’ve felt like that for a long time, so it’s hard to say exactly what is going on. but it’s refreshing that i am not yet dealing with anything serious. i am awake far later than planned – i was given a heavy dose of steroids to help support the current regimen of anti-nausea, and now i can’t sleep. but my biceps are already bulging. time to sign up for major league baseball!
just to fill you in, since i know some of you will be curious about this – before the treatment i went to memorial sloan kettering cancer center. they’re working on some genetic testing of my tumor samples to see if my BRAF gene is mutated. if it is (and about 60% of people are mutated) then i may be eligible for this trial. the sampling takes a couple months so they advised me to move forward with the carboplatin treatment. and most importantly, they will now be in regular contact with my oncologist at NYU. it’s always a good thing to have top-level doctors talking about your case.
to wind down from another 8 hour day in and out of hospitals, kathryn and i visited a friend near times square and took advantage of her 30th floor pool and hot tub with views of a patriotic empire state building. in repayment, i took us all out to pedicures. now THAT is how to recover from the first day of chemotherapy.
i’m taking the holiday off but expect a full email report shortly after the break. have a fantastic holiday and thank you as always for the constant stream of love and prayer and support.
Jonah,
You’ve been in my thoughts a lot today. I’m channeling so much positive energy to you, Kathryn and your fam.
M.
Jonah,
My parents are good friends with your parents and we are all now members of Unity. You’ve been in my thoughts a lot even though we’ve never met. It’s so tough to watch your parents in distress. I think I cry too hard seeing your parents because my parents protected me from a lot of the hell I put them through worrying about me (heart damage, a separate major reconstructive surgery followed by what could have been a fatal complication.) My poor mom now has Shingles because of the stress this past spring.
Control is something we all crave but none of us have. I’m very glad to follow your blog and keep up with your health. It gives a false sense of control that by somehow knowing what’s going on, it can’t be that bad. Or that somehow my positive energy will help you beat the cancer.
Know that many of us are praying for you and your family! And in your “spare time” (hah!) can you share recommended websites, or your STORY – when did you first notice the mole? Was it small and grew? What did it look like? My four year old will have to get surgery to remove a suspicious mole, I’ve had two removed and more growing. I never know when to really freak out and when to not worry because early removal means everything will be OK.
Have a very happy fourth of July.
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Jonah,
You’ve been very much on my mind and in my prayers these past couple of weeks since I saw your folks at GA. I am so sorry to hear the cancer has spread–that SUCKS! It’s good you’re at perhaps the world’s best hospital for your treatment now, and that there’s some hope of reducing the cancer with chemo and this possibly promising (fingers crossed) trial. You are a wise man to surround yourself with friends and family, beautiful things, fun things, and poignant moments as much as you can. That may seem like a no-brainer because you’ve always had such an outgoing and gregarious personality, but I’ve seen people with cancer choose retreat from people and the world and it hurts them. I send you much love and light and friendship and beauty as you take whatever life sends you in the coming days. May you be held in the spirit, bathed in the spirit, permeated by the spirit, blessed by the divine as you continue on this journey.
Dear Jonah:
If you are ever lying awake at night and want to talk, I’m three hours behind you and am not usually asleep until midnight – 3am your time. I think you have our home phone – if not, shoot me an email. Call anytime!
We love you!
Chuck and Lisa