GROINSTRONG

i had a lovely weekend, thanks for asking! i hope your holiday was awesome and firework-y. the chemo is starting to kick my butt a bit but i’m resting up and saving my energy for the week.

my newly new york-ed cousin sent this update out to my family and gave me permission to make it public. i thought it would be nice for people to see. to see how important kathryn is to me, to see a side of things that i may not always write about. enjoy.

I had lunch with Jonah on Wednesday. His ability to appear without pain is impressive. His new and increased nausea and stomach pains have, according to him, made him much more aware and present because, for the first time since he was diagnosed, it is his illness and not his medications that are causing him unrest and discomfort. He is hopeful about his new chemotherapy treatment, and confident that he will not lose his hair (though according to his website, some of his loyal friends have already shaved their domes in support). He and I didn’t spend too much time talking about his illness to be honest, and that’s why it was so strangely refreshing to see him.

All that we hear from Jonah, through third, and sometimes fourth person knowledge is what is going on with Jonah’s cancer. Admittedly, when I was on my way to see him, I expected to find either a weakened and defeated version of the cousin I once knew, or a falsely contented, cancer-ignoring person who wanted to act and feel like there was nothing wrong. What I found instead was a very happy and in-love Jonah.

The difference that Kathryn has made in his life is obvious to those who see him when he is with her, but it is the way he feels and where his thoughts are when she is not around that, in my opinion, have made the biggest difference in him. The universe seems to want to send rain clouds Jonah’s way, but Kathryn provides him with the constant ray of sunshine he needs to keep a smile on his face. When he could be thinking about impending doom and ruminating over failed attempts to sign up for experimental chemotherapy trials, his thoughts instead are of Kathryn’s lovely neckline (we stopped in a jewelry store on a whim and he bought her a beautiful necklace that was too inexpensive for him to pass on). The impact she has on his day-to-day life is nothing less than profound.

When Jonah left me at the transit museum to go do some shopping I couldn’t help but feel awful that we all think of him as being sick. Jonah is sick, yes, he’s constantly reminded of that fact, and he is handling his illness as responsibly as possible, but besides being sick, perhaps even more important than the fact that he’s sick, is the fact that he is unquestionably in love, and he is undeniably happy. Kathryn has been better for him than any doctor or radiation or medication; if you could just see his face when he talks about her that would be astonishingly apparent.

– “A life is not important except in the impact it has on others”

(Jonah, the quote at the end is my gmail signoff- the one that comes at the end of every one of my emails. It seemed important to me that this Jackie Robinson quote be a part of the original message… as it was when I sent out the original email. I can’t think of a better example of how important we all can be to each other than the uplifting impact Kathryn has had on you.)

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 5th, 2009 at 8:24 pm and is filed under chemotherapy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.