GROINSTRONG

it has been a long day. my headaches are somewhat better, but given their intensity and lasting strength, we followed through with a brain MRI tonight. as many of you know, an MRI is not exactly the best thing when you have a headache. for a taste, follow this link. turn up your computer to maximum volume. take your speakers and place them over both ears. now click play on those mp3s. fun!

i am tired of this. the thanksgiving holiday is well timed. i could use some family love.

according to the chest MRI from last week, the tumor on my shoulder is more than 4 cm across, and is deeply embedded in my pectoral muscle. removing it could potentially inflict significant damage on both my shoulder and right arm, and because of its size, the marginal incision that could potentially guarantee a disease-free area is simply not possible. so we turn again to temodar, the oral chemotherapy that was so effective in managing the skin-level tumors last year. we’re combining the temodar with PABA, a B vitamin supplement that you may have heard of from its removal from sunscreens (as in PABA-free). it turns out PABA can be of great help in dealing with solid tumors when combined with chemotherapy.

i am exhausted by this long, tiresome battle. the trial from which i was rejected seemed like it would be a magical cure, which it never really was, but being rejected stung just the same. and now to return to a drug that worked – yet still allowed the buildup of gastrointestinal tumors – is not the dramatic answer that i was hoping for.

but it is what we have, and i’m looking towards the holiday with my aching head held high. even as i feel utterly spent, i recognize that i (and we) have much to be thankful for.

enjoy your turkey!

Tags: deep fried turkey, PABA

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 25th, 2009 at 12:33 am and is filed under chemotherapy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.