GROINSTRONG

just so we’re clear, that’s a reference to one of the many megalomaniacal segments on the colbert report. i’m not nearly as self-absorbed and arrogant as colbert’s television persona. right? … right?

but i do have some friends who are honoring me, or at least thinking about me as they run like the bats out of hell that they are. as i’ve mentioned before, my friend, fellow cancer survivor and all-around badass graceann is running the new york dublin marathon to raise money for the leukemia and lymphoma society – one of the many support organizations that are absolutely crucial in keeping us “cancer crushers” (to borrow a phrase from jonny imerman) happy, financially stable and, well, alive. [correction: graceann will be running the dublin marathon. no, not the bay area suburb. dublin as in ireland. that makes it SO much cooler.]

graceann is just a few hundred dollars away from meeting her fundraising minimum, but with only two weeks to go, she’s still about $1000 short of her ultimate goal of $7,000.

i’ve seen the fundraising power of the groinstrong community – would you believe that y’all have raised over $15,000 for my medical expenses? well you have. and that’s not for a 501(c)(3) non-profit; you’ve taken no deductions for your gifts. over three-plus years, my out-of-pocket expenses have totaled more than $30,000. so you’ve paid for half of all of my bills. that’s staggering. let’s not forget, though, that without insurance, those bills would already be over $2 million dollars. seriously. i’ve counted. now that’s staggering.

so: please give to graceann’s efforts as generously as you’re able. you can visit her fundraising site is here – and be sure to watch her hilarious video ask here. don’t forget that for a donation of $50 or more, you’ll get to choose a song to play in her headphones as she pounds the new york irish pavement. i’ve requested that she bust her butt to hall and oates’ you make my dreams. god i love that video. especially the way that oates pops up close to the camera. so awesome.

but the asking is not over yet! please keep reading and clicking links and giving generously.

my new friend emily is also preparing for a run – this one is a 5K, the terry fox run for cancer research. after only a conversation or two between us, emily was generous enough to dedicate her efforts to my continuing battle against this awful disease. though her financial aspirations aren’t nearly as lofty, she’s still pushing herself and making sacrifices to help others. that pretty much makes her a badass in my book.

right now emily is just $30 short of her goal! every dollar counts when it comes to the ungodly expensive costs of cancer research – research that is very much a crucial tool in keeping me alive and healthy as we speak. so please consider giving to emily’s run as well. her fundraising page is here.

maybe you can give two matching gifts, one to each runner? that sort of philanthropy has got to pay off in the end, whether it’s in a cloud-based heavenly afterlife or a rung or two upwards on the karmic ladder. think about the long-term benefits of your generosity, whether it’s the continued funding of research or simply an expanded sense of self-worth and satisfaction. please give whatever you are able.

thank you, dear readers, for taking the time to hear about these important fundraising efforts, and thank you in advance for the support that you can provide.

a very brief update before i head to the 16th medical professional in my phone book – not an exaggeration. how crazy is that? too many doctors is a great title for a song or poem. help me remember that.

in just a moment, i’m headed to an orthopedic specialist to discuss the hairline fracture and degenerative state of my left hip. i doubt we’ll take any action beyond bone density testing – there’s very little they can do about it short of a hip transplant. and i’d rather avoid that for now. he’s actually in the same office as my knee surgeon.

after ten days back on zelboraf, the side effects are taking hold again. the itching isn’t nearly as bad this time, but my goodness this joint pain is intense. i’m on just about the maximum amount of painkillers that a human being can take without resorting to intravenous injections – we’re talking multiple daily doses of both dilaudid (3-4 times stronger than morphine) and methadone. the pain, at the moment, is in my right shoulder, both wrists, the individual joints at each knuckle on both my fingers and toes and the arches of my feet. it likes to move around from joint to joint, moving without warning. you’re familiar with the pain scale of 1 to 10, yes? i’m living at a constant 8. or even 8.5. and it’s just as unpleasant as you imagine. on top of that excruciating pain, i’m still going to physical therapy to work on my knee. luckily my therapy staff is very accommodating and understands that my pain is such that it prevents me from a significant amount of activities. so the knee continues to approve – now it’s just the rest of my body i’ve got to figure out.